Addy's Birth

Disclaimer: This is obviously a birth story (and quite possibly the longest birth story you've ever read). If you don't like reading birth stories, this is your chance to exercise your agency and choose not to read on. If you are like me and are (or were recently) a nine-months pregnant woman kind of terrified of getting-the-baby-from-the-inside-of-your-body-to-the-outside, then you probably like reading birth stories. And if nobody reads, I think that documenting how a birth happened is very cathartic for the mother and is useful in helping her come to terms with how things happened, especially if they weren't ideal. 

Two weeks prior to my due date, I went to my doctor to get checked on my progress. To my (and his) great surprise, I was 4 cm dilated. As a first time mom, that's not too common. I had been feeling (brief) sharp, stabbing pains in what felt like my cervix for the past few weeks--these pains must have been dilation. So I went home from my appointment expecting to go into labor any day and expecting my labor to go quickly (since I was already 40% of the way there!).

The day after Christmas I woke up around 7:30am with a backache. By about 8:30 I'd guessed that I was finally having labor contractions--they felt nothing like the Braxton-HIcks I'd been having. I woke Kit up and told him I was going to take a shower to relax and see if the contractions were going to stop. He nodded and sleepily announced that he would get up and make waffles. Waffles are helpful when you are in labor.

I kept timing my contractions and they were around 7 minutes, 8 minutes, and 6 minutes apart. I ate my delicious waffle and decided to call the doctor. We live about 40 minutes from the hospital and since I was already so dilated, I didn't want to wait until my contractions were 5 minutes apart for an hour (which is what they normally tell you). Also, some of the contractions were intense enough I couldn't talk through them.

The doctor told us to come into the office to be checked out. We got our stuff together and Kit, me and Kit's sister Savanna--who was staying with us for Christmas--got in the car. Kit told me later that he wasn't sure I was really in labor because of how calm I was. 10 points for Lynne for managing the pain like a boss! By the time we got to the office 40-minutes later, my contractions were five minutes apart. The doctor took a look and told us to go straight to the hospital. 

We got to labor-and-delivery, signed in etc. and the doctor came to take a look. I was 5 cm dilated and almost 100% effaced. Before I knew it, he took a contraption that looked like a quilting needle and broke my water. I was excited because I knew that if my water was broken--the point of no return--that meant we would have a baby soon! 

Well, it also meant my contractions started getting much more painful. Let's just say I was incredibly glad to see the epidural woman (the bless-ed epidural woman!) come in the room within the hour. My contractions were very difficult to breathe through and I was tensing up with each one. Kit and Savanna had to leave during the procedure but the nurse held my hands and helped me get through the last couple bad contractions. (and heard/ignored a lot of wimpering from me)

After the epidural was in, the nurse checked my progress. "Well, that's why you were in so much pain--you're dilated to an 8!"
It's nice to be validated. 

This "thumbs-up" made possible by the bless-ed epidural woman.

The next few hours were lovely, I was relaxed, Kit was relaxed and we were all excited that it was actually happening! I was also excited that I was dilating well and without any pitocin. Given my family history (my brother and I were born via C-section because of failure to progress), I was half expecting to get to the hospital and not dilate at all. After I got my epidural I was realizing that things were going well and I might be the first woman in my family to deliver vaginally since my grandmother. It sounds crazy, but I was really excited at the prospect!

Two hours after the epidural (three hours after getting to the hospital), the Dr. came in, checked my progress and announced that I was at 10 cm and it was time to start pushing. I was amazed-a part of me thought I would never make it, that my body would just stop dilating at some point. It was actually time to start pushing--I was going to avoid a C-section after all! 

The nurse gave me and Kit instructions and I started pushing. And pushing. And pushing some more. The first hour was fine--the second hour got much more intense and my epidural seemed to wear off. The contractions were very strong and the only way to get through them was to push. I was very uncomfortable (and a little mad) when my nurse would tell me to wait out the ends of long contractions instead of push.

After two hours of active pushing, the Dr came in to check my progress. I could feel that the baby hadn't moved much, but I had felt a little bit of movement. Unfortunately, the baby's head had not dropped into my pelvis past a -1 station. After two hours of hard pushing, she should have been at least a 0 station and probably more. The Dr had been concerned about how high her head was all along and was hoping that pushing would cause her to come down. 

Diagram showing the baby's "station" in the pelvis. The baby is usually at a 0 station when active labor is going on.

In addition, he said he felt something funny on her head and it didn't seem like she was dropping in the right position. "Asynclitic" was what he called it--her head was tipped in the wrong direction. So he recommended a C-section. Bummer.

Visual of an asynclitic baby--her head is tilted toward one shoulder more than the other.

At this point my epidural was worn off and the contractions were hard. They told me not to push anymore but they needed 30 minutes to set up the surgery. Since the baby wasn't in distress there was no hurry, but I was feeling all the contractions fully and wasn't allowed to push--it was the worst. Kit was great and helped me breathe and get through some of the bad ones. My nurse was a good advocate and asked if I could get a "top-off" in my IV until the surgery started. 

They gave Kit some scrubs to change into and introduced me to a few different anesthesiologists. They explained what would happen (shaking, nausea) and we went in to surgery. The two doctors were very nice and I had to ask the nurse if they'd already started cutting (they had). The doctors just chatted during the surgery and chatted with me as well. After hearing we were from UT, they asked if we were Mormon. I said yes and they asked about a new church building going up by their office. I said I didn't know about it but was not surprised because there are a lot of Korean members of the church in Fort Lee. They were really surprised there were any Korean Mormons! The surgery was a bit more physical than I thought. They really yank your body around--not gentle at all. A few minutes in, I felt a great "lightness" and knew that my baby was born. I couldn't see anything and kept listening for her cry, but it took a few seconds. Then I looked to my right and saw her, born at 7:11 pm, weighing 6 lbs 8 oz.

You can see that the front plate of her skull was pushed up and to one side, poor girl was pretty squished.

Diagonal head

She was a little upset--yanked out of her comfortable uterine home. Delivery can't be easy on babies either.

They gave her to the pediatrician about 8 feet away. I could tell that her head was quite misshapen from where I was and I kept asking if she was okay. I was shaking pretty badly and my right shoulder started hurting very much. They brought her over to my face and she quieted a bit but still cried a bunch. Then I threw up and they finished stitching me. When they dropped the curtain I remember being surprised that I couldn't feel my legs. I got onto the operating table under my own power--it was weird to leave "in a cloud." 

They wheeled me to recovery, which ended up being the corner of a shared room somewhere. I had to stay lying down but they did bring the baby into be with me. She was with me for about 30 minutes and cried loudly the whole time. We tried nursing but it didn't really work laying down. Also, because of the shape of her head, they called in a specialist to check her out to make sure she was okay. She also had red scratches and a big hematoma between her eyes. The specialist looked at her and said that since my ultrasounds were all normal, he was not worried about her. Looking back at pictures from her birth, she barely even looks like herself.

In the recovery room.

I was pretty emotional and ended up crying myself when I couldn't get her to be calm. (I felt that I had only been a mother for a few minutes and I was already failing!) After about 30 minutes Kit went with her to the nursery to get cleaned up.  When they took off her hat, Kit was shocked--her head was almost round already! No wonder she was crying so much with me, her head probably hurt because it was moving so much. A day later, her head was perfectly round. 

Babies look a lot like old men sometimes, don't they?

Kit and Savanna came in to talk to me and I called my mom to tell her what happened. After about three hours I could feel my legs enough to get wheeled up to the mother-baby unit. We got up there around 11 pm and we were finally able to nurse and see our baby again. 

First family picture!


Aunt Savanna was rewarded for hanging out all day in the hospital waiting room by being Addy's first visitor.

The next few days were rough on the recovery front. Since I was hoping to not have a c-section and progressed so far into the labor, I was pretty disappointed at first. (My raging hormones probably also played a part...) Every time I tried to stand up straight or couldn't hold my baby on my chest because it hurt I felt a little sad that I had to have the surgery. I wasn't prepared for what recovery from abdominal surgery would be like. I had a friend who had her baby the day after me and went home two days before I did--I was a little envious. I cried a bit when I was alone in my room with my crying baby and I couldn't stand up very fast to soothe her.








Proof of the round head


She has an intensity about her--this is a common face, along with a furrowed brow, "worried" look

Now, a few weeks later, I'm okay with it. The birth of a child is a big life event and it took me a few days to come to terms with how it transpired, but everything's fine. The shape of her head alone proved that there was no other way to get her out. 

If my next baby is positioned right then I imagine a VBAC would be possible. But if not, now that I've had a C-section, I know what to expect and if I have to have another one the recovery will be better.

As I write this my beautiful daughter is next to me sleeping in the cutest way possible--she is such a blessing to us. And I'm so grateful that modern medicine allowed both this baby and me to be alive today.

I love this picture

Leaving the hospital on Dec 30--on to the next great adventure, being parents!

Addy Jane at two weeks old

Three weeks old